Day Care
by Words of Heresy
Summary: Never, ever forget your kids in day care folks! Tony learns the hard way. Tony/ Loki slash m/m past-mpreg T for swearing


A giant maggot with razor sharp teeth and a vacuum for a mouth was terrorizing NYC and oozing corrosive acids from every pore. This made contact impossible and Clint's arrows hardly made it within an inch of the beast before a spit of acid dissolved them in mid-air. Natasha just stayed out of this one and assisted people to evacuate from immediate buildings; a blessing that the creature only made speed of around 5km/h. Captain America crouched over Bruce, making an effort to relieve the severe burns while simultaneously keeping an eye out for the others. Looked like the big guy decided to walk out of there after the second time his skin got peeled inside the monsters gullet. That left Tony along side his oh-so favourite brother-in-law, attempting air strikes with fire and lightning but only achieving a rather putrid smell that resonated in waves and left people puking as they ran for cover.

"This isn't working blondie were gonna have to pull out, regroup, and come up with another plan of action."

Thor turned mid air possibly with a growl about the blondie comment stuck in his throat when they both herd it; the unmistakable hum of Loki's alien glider. Tony was still as of yet to discover how it works, what with Loki guarding the damn scooter like those damn magic books of his. Above the beast sped his husband, high enough not to get doused in spurts of acid. He flew right past Tony and Thor and straight for Steve. Granted the man was a walking advertising campaign, still Tony couldn't help feeling just a tad slighted.

* * *

"Where is Tony?"

Loki hovered a few feet away from the two men, shooting Bruce suspicious glances. Steve sighed and wiped the sweat of his brow with one lethargic hand stroke. He looked up and gave an internal eye roll at the other mans' total lack of timing.

"Over there somewhere, probably with Thor. You wouldn't happen to have any water on you, by any chance?"

Loki gave a long-suffering sigh but unclipped a water bottle from his belt, throwing it to the wide-eyed avenger.

"What? Really?"

"You asked for water didn't you captain, or does my hearing deceive me?" the raven snapped.

Steve picking up on his rudeness and struck with sudden embarrassment at his lack of proper manners gave an uncharacteristic blush, thanking the other man with a warm hearted smile. Bruce chose that moment to moan in his half-delirious state drawing both sets of eyes.

"What's wrong with him?"

"He has severe acid burns, the Hulk abandoned him and he can't fight the injuries in his current state," Steve spoke softly but Loki heard every word. The demi-god took a moment to observe with a critical eye the racking shivers that resembled spasms' course through the fragile human form.

"I can heal him if you promise the green beast stays down."

Steve was struck speechless.

"Well now or never Captain. I have to find Tony."

"NOW", the blonde man yelled, momentarily loosing control of his emotions. Coughing to cover up his outburst, he spoke in a much more leveled tone when he turned and noticed a wide-eyed Loki with one foot pre-cautiously back on the 'copter.

Approaching the fallen man, Loki pulled of his gloves and pressed down on the naked chest, hands glowing with sparks of electric green as the magic danced of his fingertips and into the burned skin.

"Watch over my machine", he threw distractedly over one shoulder "and don't let Tony anywhere near it."

"Too late I'm already all over this baby," replied his lover with ill-supressed glee.

"Steve."

"Sorry Tony orders are orders," and slapped away one straying metal hand mid-reach for a steering handle.

"Oh come on since when do you take orders from him?"

"Mostly since he's offered to help heal Bruce and partly because I enjoy hearing you winging about not getting your way."

Steve shot a glance at Loki. The man had already stood up and was pulling on his gloves leaving Steve waiting for a comical retort to support his own; knowing Loki could never resist a comment when Tony roasting was involved. However the man stood solemn as ever and without meeting his lovers' eyes looked directly through him at the monster still terrorising Broadway.

"You need to force him to swallow this liquid nitrogen capsule I created last night. It's formulated to be of extremely high concentration and I used magic to compress an exceptionally large dosage into this." He pulled out a baseball sized red ball. "Get Hawkeye to shoot for the mouth. That should freeze the beast from the inside, leaving it solid long enough to be destroyed."

Steve, gradually starting to adapt to this new side of Loki, was the first to speak.

"Ok you heard the man; Natasha get this to Hawkeye " he reached one hand for the ball which Loki gently deposited in his hand, "give this to him and tell him to shoot straight for the back of the mouth. How long will we have?" he asked turning back to Loki. The demi-god shrugged both elegant shoulders while putting a piece of stray hair behind one ear.

"A couple of hours at the most, but I wouldn't wait. Get Hawkeye to shoot a few imploding arrows inside the beast after it petrifies."

The captain nodded and grabbed a walky-talky from his belt, relaying the news to Natasha. They waited in awkward silence, which Tony of course had to spoil with an ill-advised comment.

"_Soooo,_ looks like you're all over Steve there Loki. Didn't know you had a thing for blonde, muscled jock's with more brawn then brain? Can hardly blame you when that spandex leaves nothing to the imagination." Steve growled and took a threatening step forward. "Makes me wonder though, why you settled on a ruggedly handsome bloke like me," Loki twitched "but hey I understand. You might need variety and you know me I'm all up for _variety_. A threesome maybe? If you let me bring Pepper along, you know to even things out…"

Loki's whole demeanor changed within seconds. Very green eyes, turned very cold, very fast and the air crackled with magic. Every face was focused on Tony, torn between incredulous looks of outrage and tragic pity. Thor being the closest to Iron Man, took a tentative step to one side looking between him and his brother like Armageddon was about to go down.

Just as Loki's hands started glowing he forced his eyes away from Tony and shot a look down where one weak hand was holding on to his ankle. Bruce was looking up at him and croaking something unintelligible while shaking his head from side to side in slow motion. Loki immediately crouched down and started checking the man for further injury, forgetting all about Tony's faux pas for the moment.

Clint and Natasha chose that exact moment to make an appearance. Both a little worse for wear but not critically injured. They stumbled to an empty bench and collapsed simultaneously.

"The beast is destroyed," Hawkeye managed to gasp out between laboured breath, before dropping his head on top of Natasha's who already had hers leaning on Clint's shoulder. Everyone turned back to Loki who was still fussing over Bruce and ignoring everyone.

"I'll contact Fury." Steve announced to no one in particular and reached for his phone.

"No need," came the distinctly gruff voice of the central officer. The man was crossing the park to get to the small huddle of people clustered together. They looked exhausted, dirty but alive and Fury had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling.

"I see you've done very well, another mission accomplished by the kick-ass Avengers."

"Well no actually Loki solved this one Fury," Thor finally spoke and stepped forth in the name of his brother.

"Loki! Loki is here?" Nick gave away no surprise while his eye scanned the group, finally spotting the black haired menace on the ground leaning over the doctor, palms glowing that weird plutonium green.

"What's he doing!"

Steve sighed and moved to stand beside the demi-god.

"Healing him."

"And I'm finished," Loki announced as he moved to stand and pull his gloves on. "Now that you precious Midgard is safe again thanks to the powerpuff team of imbeciles I will tell you exactly why I'm here. I came to ask my beloved other half, my pin-headed soul mate how in Odin's' name he managed to forget to pick up Hel from daycare."

Everyone turned to look at Tony in aghast horror. You. Never. Forget. To. Pick. Up. Your. Kids. From. Daycare. EVER!

"I…I…"

"Over night Tony! OVER NIGHT!"

"Well you see... light-of-my-life,"he added hopefully "I was just working on this new in…"

"Oh yes _working_! Working so hard you forgot our only child was all alone, surrounded by strangers until quarter past 1 in the morning, when the police finally contacted Darcy who had to drive all the way out to NYC, pick up OUR daughter and look after her until this morning."

"Oh what a relief! Well it all worked out alright… right guys? Come on back me up on this."

No one made a sound; even Fury was slowly inching back towards his car.

"How could you, you inconceivable human oaf forget about our baby after I told you I would be spending the weekend away with my parents?... You know what? It doesn't matter. I'm going home to change, pick up our daughter from Darcy's since she refused to be taken to day care today, possibly scarred for life from being abandoned by her _loving_ father, and take her to the park. When you finish cleaning up here you are free to join us, or" he added menacingly "go to the basement and tinker with your toys, whatever helps you sleep at night", he scathed. "Oh and you WILL apologize to our daughter and explain to her how daddy still loves her even though he fucked up big time!"

A collective gasp rang across the room. It was one of life's concrete truths that Loki NEVER swore. Having deflated somewhat with the last of his words, the demi-god leapt on his glider and sped away. Everyone's eyes fixed accusingly on Tony. Thor took a threatening step towards the other man, swinging his hammer in lazy circles.

"'You forget about my niece Stark?

Oh boy.


End file.
